I lost a close friend of 10 years, whom we first met in secondary school after coming out to him that I am gay just last week.
He suddenly just distanced himself away from me and just blocked me on Insta and telegram yesterday (he used to put all my messages on read).
When I called him today, he said that this friendship is over and hung up. It was quite shocking as I remembered that when I first came out last week, he said he won’t treat me differently and he’ll still be my friend.
But after finding out that he cut all contact lines with me, I am heartbroken and lost. Not only I was slapped with a lie, but also witnessed a behavioural change in him, that he prefer to have straight friends.
Was it a bad move to disclose my orientation to someone I know for so long? Is he afraid that I’m trying to flirt with him? I knew he has a girlfriend and I respected that. I wasn’t intending to date him, I just wanted to be accepted for who I am. He seems to be living in this bubble on what gays are ‘supposed to be’.
Now I have this fear of telling my other friends that I’m gay as they might have the same reaction. Should I just forget that ‘friend’ and move on, or give him more time to move on.
I know now many young ppl are open towards the lgbtq community, but I still can’t handle what I just encountered. I lost a part of myself there.
Here are what netizens think:
- A friend who can’t accept who, what and how you are, is not worth your time anymore. Time-length of a friendship doesn’t define anything. That’s why there’s a saying of 患難見真情. Put this down and move on. Don’t be surprised if ever a day you heard that he has been letting people know what you told him. Such is human. Life sucks sometimes. Take care!
- If they don’t accept you, they don’t deserve to be your friends. Join an interest club, put yourself out there meet people. You’ll realized the world is big enough to know that there are people you really get along with and accept you for who you are. They won’t ask you to change and will be supportive of you.
- He isn’t worth your time and effort. Now you can focus on others who actually care about you as a friend.
- I am sorry you are going through this. He must have meant a lot to you as a long time friend and you must be feeling really hurt right now. Bear in mind that he might be uncomfortable with his own orientation. It’s call projecting in psychology…nothing to do with you. In this day and age, there will be a lot of other people who are accepting of you. Chin up, you’ll have better experiences