When I was around 12 I decided to be a rule-breaker and get discord.
I had no use of it until my favourite meme YouTuber at the time kept posting weird and sad threads on his YouTube community.
I decided on joining and made a lot of new friends until one day he messaged me (direct message) and sent a simple hug action.
The truth is, I said in general I wanted to jump through the doors and hug someone. But that message was for my other friend, not him.
He got confused but quickly started complimenting me and getting closer and I thought I had a really cool friend who made then hilarious content.
Soon however he started asking for good morning kisses and such. I said yes not thinking it was weird because he used the excuse he was foreign so I wouldn’t get it.
One day, when everything got bad personally he started asking me for pictures and more from me like ERP (role plays) which he got outta me. He liked my wordplay and said it was the best yank he’s ever had which made me feel gross.
Soon I got used to it, his weird schedule, getting up at lunch and staying up till 3 almost and more. he asked me to be his secret girlfriend (because he was very aware it was illegal) and I felt loved at the time because of how much we had in common. Since I moved around too quickly I never had friends.we both liked purple, cats, the same music, memes and enjoyed the park.
One day I got back online after school and noticed a strange amount of pings (the noise/ notification when someone types your tag in chat) from the server.
They were all… Congratulating me? For what?? I didn’t understand until he told me he told everyone. He also used me as a “secret” for his YouTube channel for when he reached a certain amount of subs.
I was a product, I was his doll and I couldn’t get away because he knew me. Where I lived and everything. He demanded more and more and more until my body felt too gross to go on.
12 year old me being told to shave and to dress a certain way. Our birthdays are close together, the same week. I told my mom but it’s only gotten me mocked and yelled at.
Despite the times I’ve cried, the times I’ve failed. My words finally have power against his when I got older.