Problem with parent(s).
How y’all deal with a narcissistic parent(s)?
My dad keeps picking fights with me for absolutely no reason and threatens basic necessities (money, food, kicking me out) over my head when he gets mad in the heat of the argument. I’m planning on leaving but I’ve got O-levels to deal with and I have zero funds.
I’ve read a lot of books on what I can deal with living with someone like this such as “adult children of emotionally immature parents” which helped alot in understanding what and why things are the way they are but I don’t know how long I’m able to cope. Feels like I’m going mad.
I’ve got a suitcase prepared containing some of my belongings but I don’t know any place where I’m able to stay without money.
Should I continue to live with him and just suck it up until my O-levels done??
I’ve thought of getting a late night part-time job but I’m not sure if I should sacrifice my sleep for money since I’m already struggling to keep up with school.
I feel like complete trash after every argument, and I really don’t know what to do in this situation, I feel trapped and hopeless.
I don’t have a mom anymore. Just me, my younger brother and that old man.
I don’t really have any relatives I can ask help from 🙁
Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
- Think long term. Don’t antagonise him right now. Stay out of his way. Know what triggers him and avoid setting him off.
You have to focus on your O levels and hopefully followed by poly. So it will be something like 4 more years to build a solid springboard. After this, you will find it more feasible to move out when you secure a job. Imagine what your life will be like then. Use this as the single reason to put up with the current situation you are in.
- Really sorry to hear this. Best you can do is to let your dad “rant/vent” and try not to react. Most of the time they just want to get a rise out of you to justify the bad feelings they have inside. Reacting never ends well. I’ve been beaten, kicked out, allowance witheld etc.
You can also try the reverse and show concern especially when your dad is being unreasonable. Sometimes the unexpected response takes them by surprise and they may have a moment of clarity to realise how ridiculous they are being.
If that still doesn’t work, minimise interaction. Visualise a goal for yourself. Either find other supportive relatives to take you in while you finish up your studies or bear with it until you finish your studies and find work.
Once the financial independence kicks in, you move out. Don’t let them influence you and break you. Tragedy shouldn’t be passed down through generations.