I’m 21M, currently doing NS / uni. A few months ago, I was just bored and swiping around on Tinder/Bumble for fun. Matched with this 44F. We chatted for a bit, vibes were quite chill, so we decided to meet up for supper. One thing led to another, and around 3 months in, I went over to her condo and spent the night. Honestly, I was quite surprised because she was really impressive in bed.
Here is where I made a huge mistake. My Secondary 2 Biology knowledge completely failed me. I genuinely thought women in their mid-40s were already past childbearing age and entered menopause, so I got careless and didn’t use protection. A month plus later, she dropped the ultimate bomb on me and said she was pregnant.
I panicked like crazy. I’m only 21, haven’t even finished school/started my career, zero financial stability, and definitely not ready to start a family. I told her straight up that I’m not ready to be a father. I suggested that she go to a clinic for an abortion. In my head, since she’s older, working a corporate job, and financially stable, she should be able to pay for the procedure herself. But when I said that, she got super offended and angry at me. After that argument, she completely block and ghosted me on WhatsApp and IG.
Fast forward to a few days ago, I found out through a mutual acquaintance that she NEVER went for the abortion. Furthermore, she is currently pregnant with TWINS. My twins.
Now I am stressed until cannot sleep, every day feeling super lost.
Should I try to reach out and get back in touch with her? Even if I contact her, I really don’t see myself starting a family with a woman who is more than double my age, nor am I in any position to raise kids right now. But at the same time, knowing there are two babies on the way in Singapore that are biologically mine makes me feel extreme guilt.
Will I get hit with maintenance order under the Women’s Charter or Family Justice Courts once the babies are born even if we aren’t married? What are my legal and financial obligations here regarding child support? Any bro or sis who went through similar situation or knows how local family law works, please advise.