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Saturday, July 5, 2025
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22 Y.O GIRL MARRIED TO 43 Y.O MAN, SAYS AGE GAP IS “NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS”

I know I’m posting this online but I feel I need to get this “off my chest.”

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I’m sick of people looking at me (F22) and my husband (M43) and constantly judging our relationship, thinking he’s a predator, that I’ve been ‘groomed.’

I pursued my husband and he didn’t seem to show interest in me at all until after a year of knowing each other (we met when I was 20) and I told him it would be nice if he would at least take me out on a date.

We kept on dating thereafter and we fell in love with each other.

I’m also sick of how people think that I used him to get out of my country (Philippines) to have a “better life” in Singapore.

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The Philippines is not even a third-world country…Most people wouldn’t know this I earned my degree on my own and have a high-paying job, and not need to use a man for anything, and he isn’t using me.

He has never disrespected or pressured me into anything I don’t want.

Most guys my age haven’t even treated me half as good as my husband is with me now. I feel grateful for our relationship and that is absolutely nobody’s business to whine about.

Netizens’ comments

You’re not gonna read this probably, but I have enough close relationships with huge age gap marriages to think I have good advice to give (including my ex being nearly 10 years older when I married at 21).

I thought exactly the same thing as you at your age. I am also a well-educated, high earning woman, so I hope our mindsets are similar. I’ll break it down to a couple of statements:

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You have almost no life experience. “He treats me different from guys my age” means very little when that age is when most everyone undergoes multiple transformations trying to figure out who they are and getting their life on track. Don’t mistake this growth as something you’ve glided through either – getting out of my relationship at 28 I find some of it has just been delayed.

You at 22 will still be growing – he’s done with his personal growth. You MUST still grow. Do you want your 22 year old self to be it? There’s a crazy amount of maturing left for you to do. He’s done.

At some point his age will dictate your age of living. My mother is 20 years younger than my dad. He is 80 now. She has aged astonishingly well, loves things like dancing, going out in the evenings, travelling. She is 100% limited by what he can do. I’ve seen this play out with my grandmother and another family friend as well – the last ~10 years are you living as an old person. Sure you may still love him, but it’s hard.

I don’t discount the love between you, but I am pointing out the things that made me regret mine (primarily the first 2 points). I was mature for my age, yes, but I didn’t count on how much more I would grow. I also didn’t count on how much he would stagnate.

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