A girl shared how she si 23 but her parents are still treating her like a child.
Here is the story
I’m a 23F but I’m still being treated like a child by my parents.
just a bit of context, because of my parents’ belief that getting a good job starts from getting good grades, my life was all about studying and tuition. since it’s only about academics, I’ve never had any form of part-time job. however, bc of that my parents think I’m sheltered and too naive to deal w the real world (whose fault I was wondering).
now at 23, I’m still treated like a sec sch kid:
- curfew at 1030pm
- not allowed to go for sleepover/ chalet even if they’re all girls
- not allowed to go to bf house even during the day
- cannot go out too many times a week
Because im already graduating from uni, coupled with the fact that covid robbed me of an exchange experience, i really want to have a grad trip before i start work proper.
so i asked my parents if i could go overseas in dec during my winter break to find my bf (we’re in LDR – long-distance relationship). took a lot of tries before they finally said yes. then they asked me how long im going for. me being dumb, said 6 weeks since that was how long my winter break was and i wasn’t going to do internships or part times. unfortunately, they flew into a rage and asked me why i was so desperate and don’t know how to self-love- they think all men want one thing only, and im just readily giving myself away. this is despite the fact that my bf and i have been together for 2 years at that point and spent one-year doing non-LDR, so we’re pretty stable and it is definitely not a fling.
so i asked them how long i can go for since we’re going by their standards anyway. they didn’t want to tell me becausec I was supposed to feel for myself how long i can go for. they also scorned me for even raising up 6 weeks. in her words she said “if you’re an employee, you won’t ask your employer for two times promotion right”
in my mind i was just thinking wtf im supposed to read their mind? and she’s not my boss, we’re family, im not supposed to say what i really want? in the end, i didn’t go but through shouting, at each other, the answer was 1-2 weeks.
fast forward to now, i try again. this time around take note of the 1-2 weeks limit. i didn’t even bother asking if i could find my bf. i just ask if i could travel to Canada by myself.
- them: “no”
- me: “why”
- them: “why you want to go so badly”
- me: “just want to travel before i start work since i won’t have time once i start?”
- them: “you can use your annual leave”
- me: “then why not now? im not even going w my bf, there’s nothing to worry about alr”
- them: just shake head
- me: “so im not supposed to go w bf. not supposed to go w all girls (bc unsafe in foreign country). not supposed to go w other guys. who am i supposed to go w if I can’t go alone?”
- them: “don’t ask these kind of questions. you haven’t showed us you’re able to think on your own”
just want to ask parents out there/ ppl who face similar situations, what am I supposed to do to be treated like an adult? i know that no matter how old we are, we will always be children in our parent’s eyes and they want to protect us. but i feel like my parents are just restricting me at this point and it’s not like they can control me forever (which they also agree).
i alr found a job once i grad and might be doing part-time internship from now till then so i don’t know how else im supposed to show my parents im trustworthy.