I am 29F I grew up in a divided family, my parents hated each other forever. My dad has businesses and we weren’t close to being poor but he was cheap and never gave my mom any gifts or money.
Culturally, we don’t move out of our family’s house until marriage. But I got a good reason to get out of this house which is studying abroad. Now I work and live abroad alone, no friends and no family around. I worked so hard to get my masters abroad (my tuition was paid by scholarship) and got a job after that. Sometimes I get depressed and feel lonely then I call my mom she would just complain about my dad all the call and wouldn’t care about me at all.
Today she was complaining that dad doesn’t give her money and asked me to pay her bills there, she said that my brother 38M (he lives with her and doesn’t pay much) and only pays for the water and food and I need to help them. I told her that I pay my rent, and all bills, and I’m trying to save up to buy a car and paying for my driving lessons because I could not afford to learn it in SG.
I never ask them for money why would she ask me to pay their bills too especially since I don’t live with them?
She doesn’t listen to me when I say that, she ignores me and says that my brother pays some of the bills and I gotta pay part of it. I got really angry and told her that I won’t pay a single cent and I don’t owe her money and she hung the phone up on my face.
Am I an wrong for not wanting to send her money and being angry at her?
Here are what netizens think:
you don’t live there, you’re an adult with your own bills and rent to pay. She should be charging her son rent if money is an issue, not begging it off the child who is living independently
Supporting your family is always a choice that you make yourself. You’re not obligated to fund your family in any way.
if she doesn’t have enough money she needs to get a job/look for a higher paid job and ask the son who’s still home to contribute more. Just because something is cultural to your family doesn’t mean your obligated to do it.