I (36-year-old single female) get asked this question a lot and since it comes from co-workers, extended family, friends of friends and now Chinese New year is coming then responding rudely by saying “non of your darn business sweety” still didn’t seem to work (not anymore lol).
I try to keep good relationships with those around me for a number of reasons, but this question just makes me angry. especially since the reason why I’m single is pretty traumatic and so is very personal. they feel sorry for me I can see it because they’d list all my good traits then say it’s a shame that no man is willing to ‘win’ it. WTF?
Unfortunately, I get caught off guard a lot by people (especially women) asking this question but since I can’t control the fact that they ask (I really wish they’d just leave me the heck alone) I decided to use this method that I came up with very recently.
For example, if a woman asks why I’m still single I’d just tell her “because I still haven’t met your husband/boyfriend yet. while acting somewhat naughty in the moment. so far it seemed to shut them up. it’s kind of passive-aggressive, yes. but I just feel some sort of power doing it.
Well, a few weeks ago, my sister introduced me to her boyfriend’s sister and once she sits down she asks “how old are you? I tell her and she gasps and goes on to ask why are you still single?” I look at her and say “it’s because I still haven’t met your boyfriend yet” (she has a boyfriend yay her) in the slu*ttiest tone I could muster while also pulling “the duck face” pose.
She looks at me in utter shock then puts her coffee down while my sister stares at me like WT?!?!.
The conversation gets awkward and minutes later she gets up saying she wasn’t feeling well and leaves quietly. my sister shouts up at me asking why on earth would I say something like that and I start arguing with her about how this woman was a snoop.
She told me to get over myself and “act my age” and stop being childish which she assumed is the reason why I’m single and will always be “cause no man wants to be with such a nutjob”. her boyfriend said I upset his sister and is expecting apologies from me because of what I said to her.
Here are what netizens think:
- That’s exactly how life works. Don’t ask personal questions. It’s not anybodys business why she’s single. Her business is hers and she can answer repetitive and prying questions any way she wants. Just because it makes someone feel uncomfortable doesn’t matter. It’s the same thing when people start asking “why haven’t you had kids yet?”. None of anyone’s business period. Don’t ask any questions if you’re not prepared for any answer.
- It’s a totally inappropriate question to be asking someone you just met/don’t know well. I (39m) used to get asked that same question, and I answered it similarly
- Are you dating? When are you going to get married? Why haven’t you been promoted yet? Well that’s no kind of home to raise a child in! Why aren’t you pregnant yet? What, you’re only having one child?