I have women getting angry and disappointed at me because I don’t want to start a long-term relationship at 39.
Mind you, even dudes got angry at me for that.
I’m 39, I’m currently succesful on datings apps and dating in general. I’m fit, always had a lot of times for sports, and it shows now as I get matches, dates, have a healthy life and meet new people. I’m cool with that.
However, even after I told the women I sleep with (before we go to bed) that I’m not really looking to have a solid long-term relationship, it’s like I’ve somehow lied to them after the act and they sometimes leave angry that I don’t want to settle.
I get told – at times directly, others times less so, – that 39 is getting old too fool around. Even dudes told me that.
I wasn’t always successful like that. I wanted girlfriends but never had any, I got rejected straight for years without ever having a woman showing attraction towards me.
I had my first kiss at 35, held hands for the first time at 35 too. I lost my virginity at 36.
In my younger years while looking to become more successful in dating, I had several talks with women who stated they weren’t about to wait for a nice guy to ask them out, they were fine doing so with dudes they knew were assholes.
And I don’t mind, because I gladly would have done the same at their age. But I only got bitterness out of getting rejected so much. I was neither nice nor bad enough.
I missed out on all the experiences about love and intimacy, I’m twenty years late.
I want to make up for the time lost, I want to sleep with various people, experience what they like and dislike and how differently people tick in bed. I have no clue how to start a real, long-term relationship and feel like I’m too old to start now with such commitment anyway.
It feels like after a certain age, that sort of behavior is frowned upon. I wasn’t good enough for sex and love when younger while other people my age were learning and experiencing others, but now the same people can get angry at me because I’m doing just that, as if there’s a specific timeframe during which it’s acceptable, and the milestones should have been reached at the end of it.
It just feels weird.