I (18F) work in a restaurant as a waitress for about 9 months now.
Until yesterday it was my favourite job. Very pleasant place with nice colleagues.
My boss (40~) was very warm and welcoming from the beginning. He would often take me mid-shift just to chat about life and when he noticed I lost a lot of weight due to an ED (eating disorder) he even made sure that I eat something every shift. I really felt like he cared about me.
For a long time, he talks about how he’s working out and how I’m “weak” and I should build muscle. At first, it was clear it was a joke but over time it made me uncomfortable how focused he is on my body.
Anyways, as part of his “I should become strong” thing, he offered me a bet. The easier one is to hold a carton of milk for two minutes and the harder one that will “prove to him how strong I am” was for him to hold me for 5 minutes in a like self-defence training thing (hope y’all get it but like how you would train if an attacker would grab you from behind)
I didn’t feel comfortable with doing the latter but he made it sound like if I didn’t choose that, it will prove to him how weak I am. I felt like I just couldn’t say no.
Anyways, a couple of weeks go by and evening one shift just me and him were working and near the end, he said that he got mattresses and will sleep in the storage room which is in a stairwell behind the restaurant. The storage room itself has a heavy iron door and no windows at all.
Anyways, at that point, I felt very uncomfortable and I really didn’t want to do it, especially when it was just the both of us in the storage room but silly me didn’t say anything.
We go up to the storage room and he locks the door. I don’t know why. I wish I stopped it. He set the timer and grabs me from behind. As I said, I have an ed and I’m somewhat weak and underweight and he’s a full-grown man.
He tapers me to the floor and those were the most uncomfortable 5 minutes of my life. I didn’t manage to escape obviously. It felt so awful, so scary, I didn’t want him near my body. He had his whole body on me in a position I don’t even want to think about.
It makes me nauseous just remembering it. I didn’t want any of that yet I still agreed to it like a dumb. Nothing more than that happened.
5 minutes were over and he let me go laughing at how weak I am. I went home crying mostly because of guilt. Why didn’t I say no? Why did I let this happen? Why am I so emotional nothing else but what we agreed upon happened? I feel disgusting now. I almost cried mid-shift today thinking of yesterday.
I don’t know what to do. I just want the thoughts to stop