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Tuesday, February 17, 2026
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40 Y.O MAN FIRST TIME GOT GF, DON’T KNOW HOW TO WASH HIS BIRD, GOT ‘CREAM CHEESE’

It was a sunny Saturday morning when I made the realization that I was officially in my 40s.

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As I reflected on my life thus far, one of my biggest accomplishments was that I had finally managed to find myself a girlfriend.

Although I was ecstatic to have someone to share my life with, I was also overwhelmed by the fact that I had to now learn how to properly clean my privates. It was something I had managed to avoid learning all my life, but with a girlfriend now in the picture, I knew I had to find the answer to my hygiene problem.

The thing was, I had never been taught how to clean them.

I screamed in pain when she pulled my skin down and there was a large amount of “Cream cheese” stuck there.

I knew that when you shower, you should wash your hands and body, but I had never been told how to properly clean my privates. I was so embarrassed about my lack of knowledge on the subject that I didn’t feel comfortable asking anyone for advice. Instead, I decided to try and figure it out on my own.

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I had heard from some of my friends that it was important to wash your rod every day. So I began my quest to learn how to do that. I started by researching online and came across a lot of information on the subject. After reading through a few articles, I realized that it was important to use a mild soap and warm water when washing my little brother.

I also learned that it was important to pull back my foreskin to make sure I was getting a thorough clean.

I felt more confident that I was now equipped with the knowledge I needed to properly clean it. But little did I know, I was still missing a key element in my hygiene routine. One day after showering, I noticed that there was a strange white substance stuck to the inside of my foreskin. I thought I had done a thorough job of cleaning myself, so I was confused as to what it could be.

After a few days of trying to figure out what the substance was, I finally realized that it was “cream cheese”.

I had completely forgotten that I had eaten a sandwich before my shower and some of the “cream cheese” had gotten stuck to my foreskin. It was a strange sensation to have something inside my body that I had no idea how to remove.

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Thankfully, I was able to find a website that explained how to properly clean your remove “cream cheese” from the foreskin. It said to first use a mild soap and warm water to wash the area, then to pull back your foreskin and use a cotton swab to gently scrape away the cream cheese.

I was so relieved to finally have an answer to my problem.

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