Just what it says. I’ve been interested in someone. He’s 40 yo. Lives at home. I have recently found out that he takes money from his parents. Not monthly allowance but every 3-4 months one of his parents’ FD accounts matures and they ‘give’ him the interest. It’s over $8k each time.
He works part-time like 30 hours a week (more like 15 cos he only works when there is assignments, most of the time he is on standby)cos he wants more time to pursue his hobbies. He takes home around $2k per month. His company has asked him many times to take more hours but he doesn’t want to.
He doesn’t give his parents any money though he lives in their flat and his mum buys everything for him including vitamins, daily food and snacks, all his meals, soap, shampoo, etc. He doesn’t do any chores.
His parents even gave him the master bedroom cos he is now ‘grown up’. They are middle class, his mum still works but wakes up early every morning to make or heat up a huge breakfast for him and usually buys his dinner. He will skip lunch so he has more disposable income for hobbies.
Personality-wise he’s fun, easy to take to and we have a similar sense of humour and hobbies. I enjoy his company alot.
But long term, do you think someone like this would make a good partner? I’m concerned that a 40yo guy who has never been responsible for himself and spends all his earnings on expensive hobbies, well he hasn’t ‘proven’ himself to be responsible yet.
Some examples of his behaviour with me are forgetting to pay me back when I pay for meals, offering to buy me dinner at coffee shops but when we share a normal meal that is 50-50 he will want to go to cafes and restaurants, he won’t attend movies or plays or music shows with me if it’s something he doesn’t like, unless I buy his ticket cos he doesn’t want to pay for stuff that he’s just going to keep me company. He will usually announce something that he’s interested in and ask me if I have time to book cos he’s busy, yet I work longer hours than him. He doesn’t send me home unless it is convenient for him ie not a detour at all.
I feel that I’m being so money minded and calculative by thinking this way. But at the same time I feel that he wants to find someone who is like his mother, always supplementing his lifestyle with money and labour??