I just turned 52, and I still never made a single friend or had a significant other in my life
It isn’t like I didn’t try hard. I tried so hard to try to make friends in my life only to fail, fail, fail, fail, and fail. I just want to scream and cry right now.
Humans aren’t meant to be lonely and isolated throughout their whole life like this.
It feels like I am going to die early because of my poor health, and I just can’t believe that I never got to see any of the beauties of life.
- Im so sorry you feel this way. Did you join hobby clubs or groups for singles where they go to meet up for a couple of times a month?
- I’m sorry that you feel like that but maybe you should stop forcing yourself and putting so much pressure on your shoulders! Finding good tru friends is very hard so please don’t hurt yourself like that,try to see the beauty of life and enjoy every moment of it on your own way. Sometime happiness come later to the game so don’t give up and keep believe. I wish you well
- Why do you think your attempts to make friends have failed?
I sometimes feel this way, and I’m about the same age as you. I have only two friends right now. I had four friends before covid and during covid, three of them moved out of state so I was down to one friend. Since then I’ve made one so I have two.
It is very hard to make friends later in life. I had more friends in my 20’s when everyone was single. Then people got married and had families. I married too, but it didn’t last very long- only 4 years. I’ve had a few boyfriends since then, but now not for a long time. This is made worse by the fact that everyone is busy with their families now. I don’t have a family, so I’m alone a lot. A LOT.
I know why this happened: I am the victim of narcissistic abuse. My mother was a horrible person and never loved us; only manipulated us. And so I learned patterns of behavior – ‘tapes’ – that have played out again and again in my life. I see a psychiatrist, do meditation, listen to Buddhist CDs in my car that help me, and am on happy pills, but I’m not sure I will ever be fully healed. It sucks. But I know I’m doing my best, so that’s all I can do.
I have done a lot of things tho. I made sure to do that, anyway. I have traveled all over the world. Most of it alone. But it was a goal and I did it. I try to do what I can alone so that I don’t miss out on life completely.
Try to do what you can to make your life better. That’s what I do. I know how much it hurts to be so lonely that you feel it in your bones. I get it and totally feel your pain. I do. And I don’t think we are the only ones. I think there are a lot more people like us than we realize.
Can you maybe make a friend at work? Do you have a hobby that can be done in a group?
If you don’t mind my asking, are you male or female? What worked for me for a while was taking up knitting. Many cities have yarn stores and tables where you can just go and sit and knit. You go any time the store is open and just sit and knit with whoever is there. The friend I made since the pandemic came from that group. Since then, the pandemic closed that store and so now I’m stuck with no outlet to make more friends like that. But maybe I will try something else. Learning to throw pottery maybe?