My GF had her e-mail open on her computer and I saw a bank transfer email open showing a payment of $5k from her wealthy ex BF to her.
We’ve been together 3 years and I know she’s stayed friendly with her ex. I can’t think of any reason he would be sending her money or that they would have any financial entanglements. The guy is wealthy and does like to throw around money but it makes me deeply uncomfortable that he would send money to her and she would even remotely consider keeping it. It’s not like we have any financial hardship thankfully.
I feel bad for reading her e-mail (even though it was up on the screen) but it doesn’t sit well with me that her ex sent her money. I don’t know if this is a one-time thing or has been ongoing. It just doesn’t sit well and I’m trying to think of the best way to ask her about it without sounding accusatory. I do occasionally feel a bit insecure and don’t want to come across as overbearing. I obviously can’t tell her what to do but I want to get across that taking that kind of money from an ex is way over boundaries for me.
Found out girlfriend received money from her ex. How do I ask her what the deal is without sounding accusatory?
Here are what netizens say:
- I would be thrilled if my ex sent me $5k, and if my partner saw it he’d know it’s because he still owes me money. If you know he’s not paying her back for something, I’d want to know why too. Rich or not, the reason is important.
- I say just be honest and curious. It is not wrong to accept money from someone, she’s allowed to do that if she wants to. You’re allowed to feel uncomfortable. You two can talk about it and maybe you’ll find a good level of understanding for each other’s perspectives
“This is awkward but earlier you had your laptop open and it looked like your ex sent you a lot of money. Did I see that right?”
He could owe her money. He could be apologizing for something. He could have sold something he gifted her years ago. Approach it with curiosity instead of anger
- Honestly don’t be uncomfortable if she decides to keep it. I’m not close with any exes, but if they decided to send me 5k out of the blue I’d keep it. I’m ok financially but I’m not turning down 5k if it shows up in my account.