I have a 13-year-old daughter “Marry” with my ex-wife “Jane” . I would say post-divorce we had a decent relationship and were cordial for our daughter’s sake but everything changed they day Jane started dating her current husband “Tom” (47m).
I guess she needed to prove to him that she was over me by becoming hostile because I for the life of me can’t explain what else could be the reason for her becoming so angry and refusing to follow the custody agreement anymore.
Because of my job at the time she had primary custody but I was supposed to get every other weekend and summers while we alternated Holidays. I had to take my ex to court twice and was just grateful that law was on my side and wouldn’t allow Jane to feed Marry lies about me. I tried to be patient and forgiving in the beginning but eventually Jane pushed me too far and now I just handle her with cold aloofness and documenting as much as I can when interacting with her.
During the pandemic Tom and Jane lost their respective jobs and were in danger of loosing the house. Jane took me to court for more child support which I wasn’t going to fight but was mad when she didn’t get as much as she wanted. After the decree I started getting suspicious because Jane and I have equal access to Marry’s uni savings fund so I decided to add-in special protections and alerts. I’m the primary on the account and Jane was needed my approval for withdrawal.
Unfortunately my suspicions were confirmed and I received a call from the bank about an attempt to take out $10,000. It was Jane, and I was pissed. So pissed that I went to Jane’s place and yelled and cursed at her.
Marry didn’t hear everything but she did learn about what her mom tried to do. Marry is now upset and acting out and when Jane tries to discipline her Marry counters that she’ll just live with me and lose the child support Jane and Tom desperately need.
Jane is now asking me to help her put up a “united front” but after what she did I’m not looking into doing her any favors.
Should I just follow my gut feeling and listen to my daughter instead of helping that ungrateful woman.