A woman shared how she got into a heated argument with her husband because she does all the housework while he only sleeps.
Here is the story:
I and my husband Jim live together and share a 2 yo son. Jim works in retail. I’m applying for a career related to my degree and have 2 part-time jobs.
We make about the same amount and split the bills 50/50. Jim doesn’t have a license, so I drive him to/from work and work around his work schedule so I can be there to drive him.
I do all the housework/family maintenance. All the daily tidying/weekly cleaning. All the laundry, manage the budget. I keep track of when we need to buy stuff or do certain things around the house.
I plan dates, holidays, and family activities. Jim’s parents communicate with me when they want to visit.
I manage our son’s doctor’s appointments and everything. We usually eat out, but at home Jim does the cooking. I do the cleaning.
Today at 9 am I checked in with Jim and asked if he could get up and get our day started around 10a. He said sure.
Jim has been clearing his annual leave and my mother has watched our son a lot so we could run errands or go on dates, so I thought we should spend time with our son today. He agreed. I said I wanted to get a few things done around the house before we left so we could spend the day relaxing. He said he’d help.
I started some tasks and Jim went back to sleep. I said, “You’re not gonna sleep while I do all the work.” I told him he’d been asleep for 12 hours and agreed to get up at 10 am to help me.
He said it was his day off, he can sleep until whenever he wanted. He’s not wrong. He’s an adult. I said I just didn’t want to do all the housework on my own while he slept.
He told me my behavior was disgusting and I was being unattractive. I told him he was lazy. He told me I can’t control him. I agreed, which is why I *asked* for help.
We both went off. I told him if he needs me to run an errand or drive him, I do, but he won’t do the same. He told me I was crazy, freaking out over nothing, nothing needed to get done, I was dramatic for no reason.
During this, I was folding laundry, our son was getting in the way doing normal toddler things. Jim could tell I was getting frustrated and said, “You’re crazy. You need help.” I replied, “Obviously I need help.
You can clearly see me struggling and instead of doing anything, you’re making fun of me. What kind of partner sees someone who they supposedly care about struggle, and instead of helping, they just make fun of them?”
We stopped talking.