A netizen shared how her husband found out that she slept with someone else 16 years ago and now he resents their marriage.
Here is the story:
My husband read through my texts with my best friend and found out that in college, WHILE WE WERE BROKEN UP, I slept with a guy I was friends with then.
He’d broken up with me several times in a row, once so he could date another girl (which he never acted on) and several times after because he “didn’t know if he loved me.” Now, on about third or fourth breakup (it’s hazy because it was 16 damn years ago) I went to a party, drank a fair amount of margaritas, and slept with a boy at the party.
Yes, I knew the boy had feelings for me before and after the party…so maybe going and even engaging it was wrong. But I was 18 and heartbroken and fed up.
I never told my husband about my night with the boy. Afterwards we worked things out, got engaged, married, had children and things were okay-ish. I say okay-ish because he wasn’t a great husband TBH but I think I was a devoted wife and mama.
So, husband reads the texts and has now decided that what he thought made our relationship special was a lie, the whole marriage is built on the foundation of a lie, and he says that he will resent me if he doesn’t get to sleep with other people since “I got that experience and he didn’t.”
To me this feels irrational…it was 16 years ago and we were broken up based on his wishes. He still says he’s broken hearted that we didn’t have the relationship that he thought we did.
He keeps bringing up sleeping with others so last night I just told him to go for it.
Is he valid in his resentment and feeling like our whole relationship was a lie? I don’t feel like that one night in college had any effect on our subsequent relationship or marriage whatsoever.