My BF and I have known each other since 2018 when we met at a mutual friend’s wedding.
Long story short, I (female) have always been the one that hangs on to the relationship each time he feels like calling it quits.
He is very nice, but has very fixed ideas and absolute, not believing the world can be grey and believes it is only black or white. He tends to get caught up in work (which he hates), and when he is focused, he rarely communicates.
This gets to me and after talking, we have compromised and I promised to be more understanding of his lack of messaging and communication when he is working).
He also has a slew of other issues like feeling stifled with a timeline of settling down and suspecting there is an element of commitment phobia as he says his work really drives him mad and he works international hours.
He gets triggered when I double text and ask why doesn’t he reply. He says he does not like to feel like he has deadlines to meet (from replying text messages to maybe marriage).
The qn I Have is – is this normal? Am I being blinded by love and this relationship or can I try to be more understanding and respect his boundaries?
Part of me wonders if his failure to commit etc is because he knows that I am here to stay, and he never had to fight so hard for me.
And, both of us are in our early 30s… I agree that different people have different timelines but is his mentality normal for an early 30s guy?