My husband is constantly zoning out or on his own world. He is lazy to speak most of the times but whenever he opens his mouth, he will says things that pisses me off and irritates me and claim I am bad tempered.
I am married to him for 7 years and almost everyday I feel like I am talking to the wall. I can ask him to help out with chores or call him out for some help and there will be totally no reply. I will have to start from talking to him to raising my voice to eventually yelling then he will just simply reply in a very calm tone that he never hear me at all. Even thought we may be less than 2 metres apart or within the same room.
He will insist that he never hear me speak at all and there is no sound. I always ask him how big is our house that I have to resort to screaming and yelling all the times and he still can’t hear me. And he replied our house is very big, obviously trying to piss me off. But fyi we’re only staying in a 3room condo, with very poor soundproof – given that most new homes have very weak soundproof now adays)
This morning my 3yo son was crying in his room and I was in the toilet. So I call for my husband who was lying on the bed to go over to our son room to take a look. After more then 5 minutes of repeatedly saying “dear can you go over and take a look at our son”, there was still no response/no reply from my husband, I had to rush out from the toilet then my husband immediately stood up from the bed and said “I just heard you only, before that totally no sound at all.”
My family members, neighbours are constantly hearing me yelling and my hubby will say “ ya she has a bad temper”. But I would think my husband is definitely the cause of my anger because I can never talk to him properly because I can never get any response or reply from him.
What can I do? He is like this since we first married. No change at all, and not like he is slowly getting worse. I struggled with this issue with him for many years. Before married during our dating times he was perfectly fine and totally attentive.
He will also behaves differently and is more attentive when people are around but whenever is just both of us he is totally back to his own world again.
Please advise what can I do to improve our communication. I always tell him my concerns and unhappiness and try to explain what needs to change to improve our communication but I am like talking to the wall all the times.