I married a woman out of my league and I kept it a secret that I am struggling to maintain her lifestyle. She is extremely beautiful and came from a very rich family. When we were dating I found her to be humble and nice even though she loves shopping and wears designer brands from head to toe. We had no committments and I was able to afford to go holidays with her every few months.
I saved almost a year of my salary to get her the diamond ring that she wanted as I feel pressured to make myself seen worthy of her. She has an expensive taste but she can be simple and eat hawker with me too. Once we almost broke up because of her parents and her lifestyle but she had told me she didn’t mind my background and convinced me to stay with her, saying she can spend humbly too. We managed to get her parents’ blessings before getting married.
Her family helped with a lot of the wedding expenses and also for housing. After she gave birth to our first child we sold it to move nearer to her family’s place. The 2nd place we got we need not pay for it. I let her keep most of the money from the sale of the 1st house as her family had put in more money and I wanted her to feel assured of my love for her. She also wanted to be a sahm. Her parents gifted her a car after she became a mom. I am aware she still takes money from her family while I am also giving her a monthly allowance. Somehow I feel a bit useless even though she told me to just let it go that her parents pamper her. Her parents also gifted her more than 1 apartment so she has passive income. Her combined income from everything is even more than what I earn monthly. I have never allowed her to give me any money that came from her parents. I wish to provide for my family myself but I am struggling. At the same time I struggle with the thought that her parents are still providing for her even after she had married me.
She likes to have yacht trips a few times a year, mostly to hang out with our mutual friends and for the gram. She had been doing this before we are dating so I find it hard to restrict her from continuing her habits. I don’t feel good letting her pay for everything so I would chip in the costs to hold the yacht parties. I know she had lied to her friends that I paid for the trips so I know she is secretly ashamed of me for not earning enough. She will deny it whenever we have disagreements.
In an effort to try to earn more, I changed my job. I work longer hours. Some days I barely sleep 2 hours. My wife would ask me when is our next holiday as she is tired from minding the baby and I feel pressured to take her somewhere even when I don’t have enough savings to do that. I let her believe that I am earning enough so she continued spending and shopping.
I secretly gambled and won enough to pay for a month long Europe trip (before covid) for our wedding anniversary. I was so glad covid gave me an excuse to not plan holidays for at least 2 years. I wasn’t making much money too from staying home.
I wish she spend less instead of leaving our baby with her parents while she go for beauty treatments and shopping trips but we got pregnant again. I admit it’s my fault that I stupidly think I have the ability to afford her lifestyle. I find myself drinking a lot more nowadays and avoiding home because I am afraid she would find out the truth and regret marrying me.
Please offer me practical advice on what I can do to earn more money legitimately. Please don’t bash me. I married the girl of my dreams but I am living in hell now from all the stress. I don’t want to dash her dreams that what I am providing for her is actually a lie.