My bf is always on the phone, what can i do? For context, we are together for 2 years from uni to working adults now.
Initially during the 1.5 years of uni life, he will very often take his phone out every 30 min or so and reply his friends for a couple of minutes, laughing at some meme they shared etc while we’re out on dates. Sometimes he receive 1-2 important message and he will stop our conversation to reply that, then proceed to reply his other friends on memes and chitchat. This could go up to 10-15 min of him just fixated on his phone each time he whips it out. I expressed my annoyance previously and he mentioned that if I couldn’t take it, i wont be able to handle it when he starts getting busy with work in the future.
It has been 6 months since both of us started working. His workload has increased and he is managing a small team of analysts handling time-sensitive work. His phone usage naturally increased and he seems to be on the phone 50-80% of the time we are together. Even though we spent the recent long weekend together, he is constantly on his phone. Sometimes attending to urgent messages, sometimes less urgent, and sometimes just chitchats with friends. Even when he is driving, he would start texting once the traffic light turns red.
Occasionally we have our nightly calls with one another and he seems to be on hold for 50% of the time now, replying to his friends or colleague too. Once i actually noticed him dming his colleague and though he claimed its ‘important work stuff’, i saw that they were just chitchatting on what to eat the next day at work and complaining about how the analysts under them are underperforming etc. Doesn’t seem like anything important that warrants an immediate reply.
While im not as busy as him and doesnt manage a team at work, i do understand the need to reply to urgent work messages. But i feel it had somewhat crossed a line now that he is mostly on his phone during our dates.
Recently we celebrated our 2nd anniversary and we spent the dinner mostly in silence as he was busy texting his friends/colleagues before, during and after our meal. I simply can’t understand why he has a need to reply to all his messages immediately.
He always says sorry for using his phone and says that i have to understand his pov. Although i wanted to be that understanding gf, i cant seem o comprehend this.