Just wondering for all the SG couples out there who had either side of parents disapproving of the relationship because of race/nationality/background issues and are still together, stronger than ever, raising a family despite the disapproval, how did you manage it? Counseling? Communication? What do you do when either you or your partner starts having doubts/is stressed out from this? How do I make this work out?
[Context: I live with my parents and depend on them for pretty much everything, at least for a few more years]
I know the comments section will be quick to say “its your life, your happiness” but I really care about my parents and I want them to be able to approve of the relationship, but I’m really at a loss about how to change their minds if they’re already so predjudiced/have super fixated ideals on things like race/background which are intangible things that can’t be changed. I feel so helpless.
a lot of people are saying that my r/s with my parents is toxic and i should move out asap. 1. My relationship with my parents has never been toxic until now. They way they reacted to this relationship is toxic, but apart from that they have been supportive of what I do. Also 2. Rent in SG is expensive. So in a practical sense I do want to live with my parents for as long as possible to save money, but I do indeed feel like a hypocrite and a snake if I just use them for free food and lodging while I go out behind their backs to meet my S/O.
Netizen’s comments
Let me try and simplfy this in a way that’s easy to understand.
You like cats. Your parents like dogs. You desperately want your parents to approve you getting a cat. How do you change their minds?
You can try very hard, and yes, some people do succeed, but that’s probably because the parents don’t really have that strong of a preference. But if your parents ONLY like dogs, and you die die want to get a cat, then there’s really no way around it.
A cat is a cat and a dog is a dog. You can’t try and change the cat into a dog, and you can’t expect someone that loves dog to change and like cats.
So either get a dog to please your parents, or get a cat to please yourself. Not saying one is right or wrong. Really is up to the individual.