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Monday, May 5, 2025
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GUY SUCCEEDED IN GETTING GIRL THAT’S “OUT OF HIS LEAGUE”, NOW NERVOUS

I succeeded in chasing a girl way out of my league and now getting cold feet. Should I tell her honestly and pull out?

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I’m with this girl for a few months, let’s call her J. I was initially very attracted to J’s good looks and well grooming. I’d say her looks are among the top 10-15% of all the girls I met. Despite being an average guy, I planned and chased her and won her heart after some time. However, as we spent more time and knowing each other better, I realized there is indeed a huge gap in lifestyle and abilities between J and me

– J lives in a big semi d landed house while my family lives in a old 4 room flat. Her dad owns several successful businesses while my parents are average income workers

– Her social skills are top notch and she can talk to ppl and make friends easily across age groups and nationalities. I don’t make friends easily as I don’t reveal myself too much to strangers. I also have problem’s especially dealing with ppl with power and knowledge like bosses or professors.

– she is an active sports person and her body is very fit. I’m slightly chubby, although tall. I don’t have a toned body and often struggle to pass my IPPT.

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– she is fluent in English, Chinese and german, almost to the native level. I speak singlish most of the time and can’t even write standard English or Chinese well.

– Her CAP is 4.6x while I am 3.1x.

There are many other things too. I have asked J what attracted her to me and she said it was my integrity, sincerity and kindness. But I know that integrity and kindness alone can’t sustain a relationship. My confidence drops a little every time I went out with J and know more about her. We are still in the honeymoon phase but she may start comparing me with other guys once the honeymoon fades. I have heard many examples that it just won’t work out if the guy and girl are too different. Even if she can accept me, her family would disapprove such a guy due to the big diff in SES. I’m thinking to take some pain now and just break off instead of prolonging smth that prob won’t end well.

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