For context im 24 and my partner is 31, we also live with a roommate who is 26. I have been with him for 3+ years and the roommate has lived with us for about a year.
So semi-recently I realized that I was being forced to do every single chore as well as keep up with finances, run both the roommate and him to their separate jobs every day, make sure rent is paid on time, etc.
I tried having a conversation with both of them a month or so back, that even if I was stay at home I simply cannot manage EVERYTHING. (I am not stay at home I have a full time job) I told them that I shouldn’t have to ask them to do the dishes every once in a while, or take the trash out if they notice its full. They both then said “well ask us for help” I tried to do that and I was told that they were tired or that they would get to it later. (Spoiler they don’t do it)
The house in such dissarry and trashed, the toilet hasn’t been cleaned, dishes haven’t been done, their laundry is piling up, trash hasn’t been taken out and the floors are disgusting. I wanted to see how long it would take for them to clean 1 singular thing and neither of them can be assed to do it.
Even after all of that im still getting told “oh by the way the trash needs taken out. The dishes need done, you should clean the cat box, (not my cat btw), my laundry needs done,etc” and those are only the cleaning chores, I still shop for the house, take care of Financials and have everyone’s schedules on my phone so I can wake them both up in the morning so they get to their jobs on time.
Here are what netizens think:
- Ask us for help sounds like they are doing you a favor rather than just keeping up with doing their share.
- Oh God get out! Find a new place to live. Find an actual adult to room with if you need to. Your partner is thirty-one, you shouldn’t have to mother him or spend your time forcing him to do things all normal adults do.Â
- This is called weaponized incompetence and you need to leave now. It won’t get better.