I am the eldest in a family of 4, now 3 as mother have divorced father few years back because she can no longer stand living with him.
Father have retired 8 years back and have a huge CPF and savings. (He often brags about it). But that is not the main point.
Brother and I are living with my father still, we are both in our late twenties. Mother is living happily with her family.
My father is a huge headache, he has always been. He has his own unreasonable rules for everything in the house and has this “mine” mindset that makes things very difficult for us all.
Like when we wanted to stream a movie on the TV, he would claim its HIS TV (Brother and I bought the TV btw and so did we pay for the TV subscriptions and all bills) and he gets to choose what to watch. We’ll just give in to him and stream on our computer instead. But then he would get angry saying we purposely gave him cold shoulders.
Sometimes we would just rot in the living room with him while he watched the same documentary/replayed movie for the N times, just to avoid further conflicts.
Brother and father always quarrels over the usage of the car. I can’t side anyone in this one as father bought the car, although it’s brother who paid for the COE renewal and insurance. But father always wants to hog the car, like he doesn’t allow brother to drive the car to work and brother have to “book in advance” if he wants to use during weekends. Brother is expected to pump petrol (father would sometimes drive till it flashes low fuel) all the time and get the car washed once a week.
Brother ended up renting a car on his own and refuse to continue paying the insurance and petrol.
We also have a hard time dining out with father as he always wants to choose what to eat and sometimes he would say ‘anything’ but reject everything we suggested. (Yes, like those mafan girlfriend) Whenever we tried something new he will find things to complain about, we will only be spared if we choose somewhere he tried before and liked it. (Usually that few places)
The worst case scenario happened when my uncle got into a minor accident… It’s not serious but since he haven’t been working and have no medisave, Father randomly decided to shoulder the hospital bills — but he actually expected brother and I to pay with our CPF and spilt the bill between ourselves. He also told us to buy insurance and pay the premium for my uncle! (I saw the quote, its not cheap as my uncle is senior)
My brother rejected the idea, and explained that we are not well to do ourselves, how could we afford to pay for another premium? I second his decision but agreed that we can pay the hospital bill. Father went on to guilt trip us, saying how he had raised us but we’re not willing to repay him or help my uncle out. (But the fact is, we have been paying uncle’s phone bill since it’s bundled with ours)
He said we should leave HIS house if we don’t want to help pay for my uncle!
Having enough, My brother asked me if I wanted to rent an apartment together with him, else he would just rent a room himself. I worried if he leaves, I am going to struggle with the bills and such with me being the only income (I am not hopeful about father chipping in). And honestly, I really wish to walk out of the house too… I am never close to my father tbh, I often feel we are not his biological kids… Plus I know he have the savings to survive, if he doesn’t, I am willing to chip in something, but not more till I can’t afford my own rent.