“In chinese, there is a saying “one rat faeces spoils the entire congee” and that fully explained my current situation.
After being umemployed for more than a year since graduated, I finally got employed as a manager role. As someone who has always been part timing as executive, this position is like a big jump to me. And this is where my nightmare started.
I am just not a good person to be in this role. I made mistakes everyday despite I work hard and OT till 11pm on a regular basis. I am so overwhelmed that I could read the same materials for 8 times and still feel not enough.
I trouble my colleagues and feel bad about it. My executives are bad mouthing me behind my back and i know it (because she accidentally sent backmouthing msg to me instead and not her frens). They are saying i am noob and shouldnt become their reporting officer.
I am too overwhelmed not just with the job but with the people too. I feel scared and don’t know who are the good and evil people in the workplace.
Ever since i joined for these 6 months, i have been biting myself, scratching my skins and even slap myself because i think this is my punishment for not being good enough for them.
I want to resign but my parents dont let me to as I am the only one supporting my family with my limited income and also I am still in debt of 28k due to tuition loan.