Husband refused to help with baby…
I was just wondering if this is normal in all married couples? That the husband regretted having a baby.
Hubby and I are married for 3 years now. We just welcome a baby 6 months back. We have everything planned out. Since we are both working, we get our parents to babysit when we work and we’ll take over after we ended work. As for weekend, we take turns to take care of the baby and do housework. We agreed that we both can get a weekend “off” every 2 or 3 months and we’ll get our parents to babysit.
At first, things are going well. about a month back, he started to complain about waking up at night to feed/coax the baby. He said he is tired and feels “overwhelmed”. He wished to go out during the weekend and hinted me to take care of the baby alone. I told him it’s ok to take one weekend off to work on himself. He went out drinking with his friends that weekend, got home drunk and needed me to take care of him as well as the baby. The hangover left him irritable the next day so it’s me doing almost everything alone again. The next weekend, he make plans to go out with his friends again, I told him it isn’t fair and I have been taking care of the baby for the whole week because he refused to get up on his shift. He cancelled the plan unwillingly.
He was very perfunctory when doing the housework. I actually caught him just mopping some of the “main” areas of the room and then claim it’s done. When the baby cries, he was reluctant to get away from his phone or he will wait for me to go first because he knows I care a lot about the baby.
I talked to him and his response was that he didn’t expect that having a baby can be so tiring and that there must be so much sacrifices.
I told him it’s our joint decision and our responsibilities as parents. He kept citing his sacrifices, as if I didn’t make a single sacrifice! In the end the conversation just ended with no solution as both of us felt “wronged”.
I am honestly hurt by how he seems to push all the responsibility to me when we both are working. At the same time, am wondering is it normal for husbands to regret having a baby?