Some context here, I’m a Malaysian 25 M studying in NUS Computer Science. As I struck TOTO last year winning about 90K SGD, I was able to afford a terrace house back in KL as well as a decent car. Growing in Tangkak, it was necessary for me to know how to cook as my parents were often busy working.
Being more feminine looking and frequently labelled as “pretty boy”, I often struggle to find dates. Their excuse were always being doubtful of the ownership of my house and car, otherwise they will say I give the play boy vibes as due to my facial appearance and my culinary skills. Many of them expressed doubts when I told them I never been in a relationship before. Honestly, I am starting to doubt whether it is my character that is hindering me back but my friends often reassured me that I am one of the decent and finest guy they ever met.
Is my character the problem or it is just that I seem like a liar as the girls I went on dates claimed?
Here are what netizens think:
- I am not concerned about whether they believe me. I am only concerned about what percentage of those who believe and trust me are, and where I can find them. What is the archetype of those that absolutely do, and those who will rather die than date me. Low-T makes you a people-pleaser. You need to think about how to structure your approach so that it benefits you instead of worrying about what the larger pool thinks about. I can write long essays but the issue is not about rationality here, it’s your emotional state. Increase your test levels and the problem will automatically solve itself. The problem being your expectations about how the world treats you, and how you navigate it.
- If dating fails, have you considered arranged marriage or mail order bride? But then again, marriage does not guarantee happiness leh. Both sides need to put in work to make happiness possible. My university lecturer told me this long time ago: marriage is like a cage. Everybody inside wants to get out and everybody outside wants to get in. Think carefully what you want.
- The girls that you date just don’t like you so they will find all sorts of excuses as to why they won’t date you. If they like you, you can be Casanova and they will still stick to you like glue.