Stranger from overseas grabbed my hand while jogging.. followed me to my building.. need opinion and help.
I’m not sure if this is the place to ask this but because it happened in SG I might as well. Some stuff about me is that I am scared of talking to new people, anxious, very shy and I have confidence issues. I just feel so bad about myself to the point where I rarely go out because I don’t like being in public and being seen in general..
Last week I went jogging because I wanted to improve on myself. I was doing a warm up exercise when this stranger slowly walked past me, slowing his pace staring at me while smiling very widely.. it felt creepy..?
I was so creeped out and I panicked, took out my earpiece to asked is there something wrong with me.From his accent I know that he was from China.
In short he said along the lines of “i look very sunny & friendly? (idk how to translate man, it was in mandarin)” and “seeing me jog makes him want to jog too” that’s why he was staring.. weird.. then asked if I wanted to jog together with him, which I was panicking and I awkwardly did a nervous laugh and said ok because I didn’t want to be rude and I find it very hard to say no to people.. I texted my husband to tell him that I was scared that this person is talking to me.
Before you all ask “why did you do that?? why did you say ok??” well my remaining braincell was panicking so hard that it didn’t know what to do so.. I screwed up yeah.. I was scared and panicking..
After that he went to change his slippers and joined me in jogging. Some points I want to point out during the jogging:
- He wanted to take my phone and put it on his smartphone armband saying that it’s harder to jog when its heavy and in my pocket.. which i declined immediately multiple times because he was insisting..
- He pointed out that there was something on my face and proceeded to use his hands to touch my face (i froze up and didn’t move because i was scared)
- He wanted to go jog another route instead of the one populated with people and said something like “it gets nauseating if you keep jogging in this small area, let’s go outside this park and jog around the neighborhood” which after that I found out was pretty.. isolated.. ulu you know.
- My shoelace came off and I was trying to tie it back but he kept insisting on helping me tie my shoelace when I repeatedly said no.. I’m not sure if I should feel creeped out by this.
At one point I ran out of breath and told him to slow down and walk. This is when he said he had an idea and HE GRABBED MY HAND and tried to pull me while he was jogging in front of me, WHICH I QUICKLY YANKED MY HAND AWAY.
I was full on panicking in my brain right now and was extremely scared because I was thinking “do strangers do this with people they met for less than 10mins?? is this harassment?? what do I do, I’m afraid he’ll grab my hand again” all while nervously laughing and told him to continue jogging so he won’t grab my hand again.. at this point we’re fairly out of the park now when my mom (thank GOD for good timing) called me and asked “WHY ARE YOU RUNNING WITH A STRANGER COME BACK NOW”.
We live at a high floor HDB and she was watching me jog when she noticed this stranger and me walking off with him. My husband also called me and was like “Are you ok? do you need help? I can come over” which I told him I’m heading back home and will call him later”.
I turned to him and was like “WELP MY MOM NEEDS MY HELP WITH SOMETHING AND I REAAALLLY NEEDA HURRY BACK HOME” which he was like “ok..” .. then we headed back where we started..
This guy would NOT let me go.. I told him that we can part ways in the park and he insist on walking me to my building.. red flag or overly friendly? I’m not sure. He asked for my number asking to be friends and to jog together but I declined. At this point I just want to go home and hide under my blanket.. so I hurried and said bye.
As he was going away, I saw him turn around and walking towards me in my peripheral vision and shouting “sis let me bring you up to your home!” WHICH I QUICKLY PRETENDED NOT TO HEAR and husband also called me at this timing and I picked up the phone to talk and hurried away.. once I confirmed that he wasn’t near or looking, I took the lift up to my home.
As I sat down and thought about it, I was so stunned and shocked. I kept berating myself like “why did you do that?” Friends told me to report to the police because this is considered harassment, but I wasn’t sure if the guy was just over friendly?? Is this something that is normal in his home country? What if the police don’t take me seriously? I’m really not sure.. I’m feeling really bad about myself after this because I feel like it’s my fault for agreeing and being scared to say no..
even when I try to recount the incident to my brother & husband they just keep saying “why did u do this, why did u do that??” I know its common sense to say no and ignore strangers but please.. I was panicking and scared that there’s no more common sense.. I’m on the verge of tears because I felt that they don’t understand what I went through. My brother also said I was stupid instead of giving me any good advice.. so I stopped trying to ask him for any opinion. Thanks bro, really helpful. I’ve also since explained further to my husband and he understood i was scared and have been walking me home.
I just felt like even if I went to lodge a police report they won’t take me seriously and will just blame me instead. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been feeling a bit scared to go out and potentially see that person again since he said that he lives around the corner as well. What if he could stalk me, since he knows I live around there as well? I don’t even know if I have the rights to feel depressed about this or I am being overdramatic.
Am I overreacting? Is it wrong for me to think about all these? Am I just stupid? Should I report to the police? What if I wrongfully reported them? Is this just something normal that people do in his country? What if the police blames me? I’m scared and just need help and advice.. and just opinions from fellow Singaporeans..
Edit: Hi all, thank you so much for your comments. I tried to lodge a e-report for the past 30mins but somehow the system is having some issues. So I will go down to the police station tomorrow morning to report. Thank you all for telling me to lodge a report, I now realized that he could’ve tried this on other people as well and could be dangerous. Thank you all for knocking some sense into me.