I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 6 months. In those 6 months, we have been on maybe 4 dates all of which were planned by me. He also made a huge fuss about having to go out on said dates.
I constantly go to his house and he never makes any effort to come to my house because he doesn’t want to pay for parking. He’s been to my house twice over the span of 6 months while I’ve been visiting him at his house at least twice a week for the past 6 months. Basically, if I don’t go to his house we would never see each other.
I explained to him before we started our relationship that going out on dates and experiencing new things together is important to me. While I don’t mind staying at home and watching TV I don’t want that to be all our relationship consists of. We’ve spoken about it twice while being in a relationship and he’s made no efforts to change.
I told him last night that I feel as if I put in 90% of the effort into the relationship and I don’t feel as if it’s fair. I also told him that I will no longer be doing the lion’s share of work to keep our relationship somewhat afloat and that I won’t be visiting him twice a week anymore.
He told me that this was unfair as I know that he doesn’t have money. He works full time and earns more than I do but he spends all his money on beer. He said that I’m not being fair to him or considerate of his feelings.
I suspect that he might be feeling down due to family issues but whenever I try to talk to him or suggest therapy he just shuts me down. I’ve attempted a lot to help him where I can but I don’t think he wants to help himself. I understand his feelings and will help and support him as a friend if he needs me but I’ve already made the decision that if this continues I will end the relationship as I refuse to accept less than the bare minimum.
However, I do feel guilty and think that I might be acting selfishly and not thinking enough about his personal situation.
Am i in the wrong for refusing to see him and essentially placing an ultimatum on our relationship?