I became acquainted with FM over a decade ago while we were both students. Our close friendship blossomed due to the nature of our program, leading us to spend a significant amount of time together. We shared our hobbies, discussed life plans, perspectives on the world, and much more. Meeting for meals and spending weekends together became routine, often just the two of us, with little or no interaction and knowledge of others around us.
I held a postive feeling for her, yet our relationship never crossed into romantic territory, and there was no trace of ambiguity. Could it be that we were simply pure friends with no romantic chemistry? Was it because of our differing backgrounds and varying aspirations and expectations for life partners? I never had the opportunity to directly ask her if she felt the same. However, I vividly remember a humorous incident where I played the role of an advisor to help her get closer to a boy she liked.
Graduation eventually arrived, causing our lives to drift apart gradually. We pursued our separate careers, got married, and started families. With each milestone, our distance grew wider. Before I knew it, years had passed since we last communicated.
Recently, I received the shocking news of her passing. I was left in a state of stunned disbelief, unsure of how to react.
The loss of someone who used to be so close to me left me deeply saddened, yet I found myself unable to shed tears. I regret not staying in touch with her as much as I could have, and now, there’s no chance to amend that.
I was taken aback by the fragility of life and how everything that seemed perfect could be abruptly taken away by nature, often with little warning. However, I realize there’s nothing I can do to change this reality.
These emotions have become a heavy burden on my chest, and I’m unable to express them. Perhaps sharing anonymously is the only way.
I implore you to cherish those around you while you still can. For those who are on your mind but not by your side, reach out to them now and maintain contact as much as possible. For those you hold grudges against, try to let go and forgive.
Life is fleeting, and if you’re fortunate, you may reach your 80s. There’s not much time to wait for someone else to pick up the phone, to hesitate about making the first move, or to guess instead of asking for answers.