Is it alright for me to skip the holidays with my parents because they are against my marriage?
To be more specific, I’m talking Christmas, Chinese New Years’ Eve/Day. I’m 23 and in September, I married a girl I met in March while on school holiday. We just hit it off and we stayed in touch, which led to lots of calls, face timing, texting, a few meet-ups halfway between each other. We decided that we were ” The One” for each other.
I took the marriage idea to my parents, she took it to hers, we went 0/4 with parents. We ended up eloping. Everyone was very upset and, we tried once again to help everyone see what we saw, tried to explain our feelings, but, we couldn’t get through to them.
I tried to treat things like ” Yup, I got married, its done, its in the books” with my parents. I tried discussing other topics with them but they always brought it back to her, and how they’re against her and against our marriage.
They fully expected me home for those holidays and were shocked when I told them I wasn’t coming home for any of it. They feel like I’m being bull-headed and avoiding the conversation. I feel like I tried the conversation, but, got nowhere.
Here are what netizens think:
- I got married at 20 and it has lasted 49 years so far. Sometimes you get lucky very young. More concerning is that they only knew each other for six months, but even that is not an automatic deal-breaker.
- Yes exactly. Boomer here who married at nineteen. Husband was 22 and a programmer. I worked after I got my degree but we saved my salary and lived on his. We were married for thirty happy years until he got sick and died. We were the last generation who expected to do better than our parents.
- I got married at 19 and the marriage lasted 8 months. The relationship was 3 years total, all told. I’ve been divorced for almost 10yrs and only just thinking about the possibility of a second marriage one day.