My sister is severely autistic. She requires attention almost 24/7 and cannot be left alone. She is non-verbal and cannot take care of herself at all. Despite the fact that she is only 12 she is extremely destructive and violent and destroys anything she gets her hands on.
I hate her. That should be wrong to say but it doesn’t feel like it.
I was only 6 years old when she was born and since then i’ve never solely had my parents attention. Even since I can remember the world has revolved around her. I was moved out of my room into the basement at 7 because she needed to be in the room next to my parents. All of my toys as a child were destroyed by her and my parents simply ignored me when I complained. Even when I was 14 and she destroyed a mac my school gave me I was in the wrong.
Along with this I am expected to take care of her and drop everything I do for her. I can never make plans with friend because my parents “expect” me to be there if they need me to take care of her. Even when I do somehow get time to myself I am required to leave if they need me. If i do not then I am punished. The recent example of this is when I went to see a movie, and was “scolded” because i turned my phone off in the theater.
It seems as if I am nothing more than a slave to them and anything involving her simply overshadows me. This last week I was chosen to give a speech at a school event. I was so excited and my parents promised to be there, but they never showed and claimed it was because of my sister. Anytime anything like this happens for me they are to busy with her.
I’ve held this in for so long and it finally spilled out today. While talking about future schools with my father, he joked that I should get a degree that pays well so when their gone I can take care of my sister. I don’t know why but this caused me to break down. I cried and screamed about how it always about her. I’m nothing more than a caretaker to them, that they always make it about her and that I’m expected to be her “slave” for the rest of my life.
I’ve locked myself in my room since then and my parents have not come to check on me. Am i the asshole here?