I (34M) learned that my ex fiancé (30F) slept with my best friend (34M) 6 years ago
My best friend of 22 years, a literal part of my family in every sense but blood, told me he f-ed my ex fiancé multiple times, stone cold sober, when we were engaged in 2017
So this person we will call Sam, has been my best friend since age 12. We were as close as any best friends could be. He literally integrated my family, which is big.
He was always with me, hanging out, family events, weddings, funerals, vacations, reunions… you name it. I loved him like a brother and we viewed each other as such, or so I thought.
Rewind to May 2017, id been with my then girlfriend for 3 years. We had a 2 year old together. I was in the middle of getting my shit together, going to school, working 60 hours a week, looking to better myself and family.
In July that year I proposed to her and we were so excited. Long story short, she got pregnant again, we pushed back the wedding, ended up separating in 2020 with a really messy break up.
Recently Sam and his fiancé were set to get married and she broke it off 2 weeks before for a number of reasons I don’t need to get into here.
I spent a few thousand out of pocket on the bachelor party and then organizing all the dudes to get together to support him so he wouldnt be alone on his wedding day. Just trying to be a good friend.
Well, they had a small trip planned before their big honeymoon and decided to go since it was nonrefundable. An obviously bad idea. Not sure what happened but they got in a big fight, and Sam drunkenly blurted out that he slept with (my fiancé)
Well obviously he sobered up and knew it would get back to me so he went into damage control and started controlling the narrative about how he was glad he could finally get this off his chest and he would grow from it and all that bullshit that no one is buying.
I eventually learned from him, that they slept together (at least) 3 times. The first was at my house while I wasn’t there.
If I find out my daughter was there I may murder him. And 2 more times after work at the restaurant they both worked at. While I’m sitting at home waiting for her to come home, she’s f-ing my best friend. Cool
Of course she denies it but why on earth would he implode his entire life, his 22 year friendship with me,all his friendships in our friend group which is big, any chance of reconciliation with fiancé, literally ruin his whole reputation, for something that wasn’t true? Makes zero sense. Makes a lot more sense that he’s telling the truth and she is just trying to save face
This is nuts. If I’d learned that she cheated on me with some random guy 6 years ago I’d be upset but it wouldn’t really change much. This feels like such an incredible stab in the back I cannot process it fully.
It wasn’t a one time drunken mistake. It was a conscious, sober, well devised plan to do that and not let me know for 6 years. It hurts. Just the ultimate betrayal.
My question is, how should I proceed from here?