Got laid for the first time in 10 months and it opened the floodgates. What do I do?
I (23M) have a not-very-close friend (25?F) who seemed like a good candidate for a FWB relationship. She seemed intelligent and trustworthy and not unattractive, but all the conversations we have are really flat and uninteresting.
One time I was driving her home from an event and she asked if I wanted to come in. I was totally not expecting it, and she seemed kinda drunk at the time, so I said no.
Two weeks later I asked if that offer was still on the table and we ended up doing it. It was… okay? Turns out women still feels really good, and she seemed to enjoy it a lot!
There was some weird stuff though:
- the smell was fairly strong. I’m pretty sure I could smell her private parts as I was using her bathroom before we even had f-ed!
- She made the same exact noise in a constant rhythm as I was thrusting. It was like I was hitting a button on each thrust, and it felt really fake.
- After round 1 we found an M&M in her bed and she ate it??? (Yes I still went for round 2… I was already there, after all 😐)
- She said she wasn’t looking for a romantic relationship because of some stuff she had to work through but “she would be open to” a romantic relationship with me
After the first nut, I had massive post-nut clarity and asked myself, “What am I doing here? I’m not interested in this person at all, just her body.”
She was my second partner, my first being a GF of 2 years. I realized I was kissing someone with whom I shared no emotional attachment, and that bothered me. But after cuddling for a while I got hard again and decided to get one for the road 🤪
At first I told her I’d have to see about hooking up again, because I felt really weird about my first time doing casual.
I got home and texted her that I didn’t think the whole FWB thing was for me. I laughed at and with myself about the whole experience and thought that would be the end of it. I was wrong.
I was in the mood again by noon the next day, and two days later I was so insanely turned on for several hours that I had leak through my underwear AND my shorts.
Thankfully I had a hoodie to hide the stain as I walked to the bathroom to get cleaned up! I felt like testosterone incarnate. It was genuinely scary!
I was so desperate I debated telling her I wanted to try again. I was 95% sure she’d say yes, and available (albeit odd) f-ing is still tempting.
I’ve also thought about Tinder to find a partner who I’m at least a bit more interested in, but when I tried serious dating on Hinge I got basically no interest and I don’t expect Tinder to be better.
Or I’m wondering if I should just move on and forget it all happened, even though I’ll still see this person about once a week elsewhere in my life.
There’s more to life after all. It just sucks because it’s a part of me that I might just be putting back on the shelf for months, if not years. But it’s so much more emotionally fulfilling with a real connection.