I (26F) have developed feelings for my (36M) co-worker and I don’t know what to do.
My co-worker and I have been talking, sometimes flirtatiously, for a few months now. I’m an introverted person and usually find it hard to enjoy conversing with anyone, but it was always really easy for me to talk to him. We just sort of clicked right away.
To make a long story short, we talk every day. We have multiple email chains that are sometimes paragraphs long, and one of our chains has been going on for about 6 months.
On top of this, we often chat in his office, sometimes for up to an hour. I’m attracted to him but can’t tell if he’s attracted to me or just likes the attention I’ve been giving him.
This all started innocently enough, but it’s gotten to the point where I’m thinking about him outside of work and I want to ask for his number. I know this is something I shouldn’t do, because he’s married.
I know his marriage is not doing well based off general work gossip and the way he talks about his wife. He also removes his wedding ring when I’m around.
I’ve tried to shut it down a few times, but we keep ending up in new email chains with each other. It’s hard because I like talking to him so much and I don’t know what to do.
I almost feel like the only way he’ll understand why I want to stop is by being honest, because none of my lies have worked.
I’ve tried telling him that nervous we email too much and IT will find out (he’s a manager and said he knows IT doesn’t monitor company email), telling him the emails give me anxiety (to which he said he understood and then we started a new chain a week later anyway), and I’ve tried just not emailing him back (he usually sends a new chain and I cave).
How do I shut the relationship down without telling him point-blank how I feel? Is there any excuse I could use that would make him stop emailing me?