I (33f) just got engaged to Eric (35m) this last Tuesday. My sister Ann (30f) and her fiancé Dean (35m) are getting married this Saturday. We have an older brother named Luke (37m). Fake names and account because Ann follows my other one.
I told everyone in a mass text, including Ann, that Eric proposed to me at the restaurant we went to on our first date. I noticed everyone except Ann responded right away. She answered the next day with congratulations. She said she was busy putting together final arrangements for her wedding. Okay, no big deal.
However, right after that message, she sent me another one asking that I not talk about my engagement. I asked why, and she said she’s spent over a year stressing over the wedding and hasn’t seen our family in that time, so she wants it to be about her and Dean. She asked that we wait until the day after to discuss my engagement.
I said that’s ridiculous and that we can talk about both, plus people will be asking me about my engagement, anyway, as they already know. She said she expects that, but then the conversation needs to go to her because everyone is coming to celebrate her and Dean, not Eric and me. But I haven’t seen our family (parents and older brother) in the same amount of time, and I want to use this time to talk about my engagement, my ring, and our own wedding plans. I’m excited and this is the only chance I’ll get to do it.
Ann told me it’s not about me, and “reminded me” that with her rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and girl get togethers (her bachelorette, nail appointments, etc.), she wants to talk about just her wedding and everything she’s been doing. I told her not everything is about her, and I should be allowed to talk about my engagement, too. I said I want her to help me plan mine since she’s just done it, and we could use this time for her to show me how to plan a wedding, but she said no, and that it’s not about me.
Then our brother Luke texted me and told me I was being ridiculous.
I said Ann was being a bridezilla thinking everything is about her, but he said she has a right to want week of her wedding to be about her. I’m not saying the wedding day can’t be about her, but she doesn’t own the days leading up to it. I want to show off my ring and talk about my wedding. She hasn’t had the chance to show everyone her ring in person, either, because our family is spread out, but I think we can do that together.
Eric agrees that Ann is being self-centered, but Luke thinks I’m trying to steal the spotlight and to let Ann have her moment. I don’t see why we can’t do everything together.