My girlfriend (28F) broke with me (27M) after 5 years but still want to live and sleep with me
We had a conversation yesterday and she told me about her feeling, she doesn’t love me anymore, no particular reason, it’s gone, it can’t come back, nothing to do, it’s the end.
I was prepared since 2 weeks because she was very distant, so I handle it very well to be honest, far better I expected. I was very sad, but relieved that this nightmare was over, to no longer live with doubt and questioning, that she had found the strength to tell me things and imagine that it soothed her heart too.
But well, things cannot be so simple! She tell me she still want to live with me, she want to be my friend. I said to myself, she’s trying to reassure me that I’m not going to find myself alone overnight.
I didn’t want us to continue living together by default or out of pity or to avoid loneliness.
So I ask her directly, “do you prefer to live alone or with me ?” she said with me, I asked another question “Do you want to live with Luna (her best friend) or with me ?” she said with me.
I found that weird, but it was only the beginning. I wanted to sleep in the living room, and she doesn’t accept it, she come multiple time to speak with me during the night, and finish by sleep with me because she doesn’t want to sleep without me.
And this morning she can’t stop to be tactile with me, and started to cry, and told me she doesn’t understand what is happening in her head because she doesn’t feel the same thing as yesterday.
She asked me “You’re not going to leave are you?”, I said no but… well, maybe yes, I should.
It look like she is regretting very fast…
But I don’t want to have hope for nothing, I don’t know how to behave. It look like she realise what she did and what she lost.
But what is the value of this electric shock? Is it temporary? She says her brain sends her lots of images of what she likes about me and really doesn’t understand what’s going on.
I told her I was really surprised by her reaction, I thought she would be relieved and start to get back to normal.
But I have in front of me someone who wants to continue to live, sleep and have affection with me. That for me it is the very definition of love. That if it’s a lack of intimate desire or something else it can be worked on. I added that it was my definition and that perhaps we did not have the same one.
She said “yet I agree with what you say”.
She continue to cry and show regrets, I told her that I understood, that I’ve known this feeling before, of realizing the importance of things when I lose them, that it didn’t matter, that she had to take the time to reflect and put her mind and ideas in order.
I don’t know what else to do, I just want her to be okay and know what she wants, I love her so much