Please tell me if I did the right thing.
Was in a relationship with my gf – turned fiancé for 3 years (total relationship length including engagement). Planned to get married to her next year. She has been great towards me and all these time I sincerely loved her, and have never hurt her in any serious way, and vice versa.
Last week, she left her phone in my car after we went out for dinner. Took it with me to return it to her. Her phone rang, and it’s a guy’s name, which I didn’t recognize. I decided to pick it up, and before I get to say anything, the guy on the other line starts ranting and crying about her.
The guy is begging for her to come back to him, the guy asked why is he not enough, why did she dump him for “some guy” that she “just met”, what did the “other guy” has that he don’t, etc.
I then spoke, and said I’m her fiancé, to which the guy cried again. I thought it’s just a long time ago kind of ex, but…from his tone, I felt curious, and decided to keep talking to him.
Long story short, my fiancé had been in a relationship with him for 3 years and it was a wonderful relationship, but, this guy has been busy working to get more cash to marry her, and had almost no time to be with her although he consistently text and call her. He was busy thinking about buying a house, car etc. He works two different jobs too just to fulfill her dreams. She then decided to cheat on him with me. Yeah, I’m that “some guy” and “other guy” he was ranting about.
I never knew she cheated on her ex. And her ex sounds like a good guy. I told him that I’ll try to find out more through her.
So next day, met her, asked her, and she admitted it. She said she chose me cause I already have the “whole package”. House, car, money, career, etc. I then ask what about for me? To which she said that she did love me more than my “package”. Then I asked her, what about her ex, he’s also a great guy. She admitted that he is a great guy, but she can’t wait any longer for him. She admitted she doesn’t want to go though the worst with him.
I don’t feel right. If she’s with me for my “package” and not for me, and only waiting for me at the finish line instead of walking beside me, plus, cheated on a good man that has worked really hard for her, my heart says I can’t trust her. I decided to call it off. She was begging and say that her love for me is real. But.. by that time, I have doubts.
Hours later, I called the guy, and told her I ended things with her. And that he shouldn’t bother thinking about her or try to get back with her. She’s not worth it. The guy, said he’ll do his best. We are friends now and we meet up sometimes, although we don’t talk about her.
Now…did I made the right call? Sometimes I felt like, maybe I was too harsh? I mean…I don’t want to be with a cheater. It just seemed like if I had a downfall, she’ll just be looking for someone else.
So yeah…sorry it’s a lil long. Hope those who read this can give me a piece of your thoughts on this. Thank you.