Advice
My bf and I talked about the issue of having kids. He says he does not want kids, and thinks this view is unlikely to change in future. I’m currently on the fence and not sure yet for the future, but do not want kids in the next 3 years after marriage (maybe 2 years from now). He is afraid that in future, my “unsure” will change to a “want” due to development of parenting instincts/love for kids. Then at that stage, one party has to compromise (bf give in to either have kid, or i give in and not have kid), and be unhappy while the other feel guilty. But on the other hand, this is like a future unknown unknown and other aspects are great. What should we do?
Here are what netizens think:
3 things you both need to agree on before even discussing abt marriage:
– Kids….both have to agree whether to have them and how to raise them
– finance…who pay for what
– In laws….how to deal with each other in-laws
If you both can’t agree on any of these 3, don’t get married because love for each other is not enough
- When it comes to having kids, if it’s not an unequivocal “HELL YES!!”, don’t do it. Your bf is childfree while you are a fence sitter. You are incompatible. Period. Break up now to not waste more of each other’s precious time.
- Iif he stand his ground and not wanting kids and you are unsure about your decision about having kids you really have to seriously think about the continuing or ending this relationship. Cus having kids is not fun. if 1 party not able to commit the whole part will just crumble.
- Don’t bring a kid into this world if both are not on board with the idea unequivocally. One or both of you might change your minds down the road. Then again it’s not just the topic of having kids or not that will arise. There will be other issues that crop up. It’s whether both have fundamentally similar goals to start with.
- Have open and honest communication on this issue. If one partner wants children and the other does not, it can be a dealbreaker for the relationship. do consider the reasons behind each partner’s stance and whether there is room for compromise. If both partners are not ready for commitment and not loving each other enough, it might be best to take a step back and reevaluate the relationship. It’s important to prioritize one’s own happiness and well-being…