Feeling guilty
My dad has retired and i found out he has no savings. Even his cpf is left little to nothing as he made stupid decisions like buying a big house he cannot afford last time, and then just defaulting on payments for many years. We did downgrade eventually but there is still over 100k to be paid for cpf. We find that he is irresponsible and a burden now. He relies on my mom who was a housewife her whole life for daily necessities as she has some savings. We do give them an allowance (2.5k a month). that is enough for them every month, and we visit them weekly. But why do they always make me feel guilty?
For example, they asked me to go on a holiday with them. I am not financially capable now to go on holidays (im saving for my bto and have a young child), plus our relationship is not the best, so i would rather not go on holidays with them. Then they will say, last time when i am younger they go holiday with me always, now why i dont want. I already told them why. Still fall on deaf ears.
Even after i said no, they will keep sharing the holiday plans, itinerary and prices with me. They even said they will pay for me (although they themselves are in a financial rut lol). I told them they need the $ to pay for the house and if anything happens in terms of health (they don’t have hospital insurance and don’t qualify for one because they have chronic illnesses). Like a broken record i always say they need to save money for themselves. they said ok but still continue their behaviour . They don’t respect me at all i feel. I usually just ignore such messages.
Always… there is a lingering feeling of guilt on my end for rejecting them again and again (they will ask me almost daily incessantly). Sigh. How do I stop feeling guilty? It’s killing me slowly.
My siblings don’t feel guilty at all for telling them off etc. But they also don’t ask my siblings to go on holidays with them and guilt trip them….