I am in love with a married man
I am a single 26F. There is one particular man I interact with at work particularly often that is handsome, witty, funny, and…married.
I have never made any sort of intentional movement on him because I want nothing more than to respect his wife and his peace.
I’m not the most subtle person with my emotions so he and others have more or less caught on over the course of the past year or so.
We’re friends, though I have tried to maintain distance as much as reasonable. Easier said than done, ya know?
Two weeks ago, he confronted me…and said I’ve been on his mind and asked if I felt the same. I lied. I said that I saw him as nothing but a friend and that I would like him to have respect for both me and his wife.
I said that I am just flirty by nature and to not take it personally. It crushed me. He said he appreciated my honesty (how ironic) and now I am both disgusted with myself and heartbroken.
Clearly he wouldn’t have been a catch if he had intended to act on his feelings for me with a wife….yet I wish nothing but the best for him and his wife anyway.
I don’t want to jeopardize either of our careers or his marriage so I have opted to not discuss this with anyone and have left it internalized and bottled up and tumultuous and I’m at the point where I feel I’ll explode. So here we are.
Knowing that on some level the feeling was/is mutual just leaves me feeling more confused and hurt. Lying until it passes is the best course of action here, I know, but it sucks that I see him every day and it sucks that I still look forward to it. Switching careers is really not an option here for me and I know it isn’t for him either.
It also sucks because this is the first time I truly think I’ve ever been in love before. I’ve had past boyfriends and past crushes and the feeling is distinctly different. So it goes.