My (25f) boyfriend (30m) said he likes pleasuring himself over sleeping with me.
I mean the title is self explanatory but for context, I’ve always had a higher libido than him and it’s something I’ve had to work around. We’ve been together for 5 years.
About 2 days ago we got into an argument because I wanted to be intimate with him. The morning after, I asked him if he preferred touching himself over sleeping with me and he said he did.
He said it was more gratifying. He also told me the stuff we do in bed was more “freaky” than he liked.
It’s making me feel like I’m not good enough for him and it’s making me question our relationship. I always thought he liked what we did in bed so it’s really sad to think I’ve had it wrong the whole time. He has tried to backtrack since but I do feel like he answered honestly.
How should I approach this situation? Is there anything I can do on my end to make intimacy more enjoyable or am I taking the comment too seriously?
Netizens’ comments
- Next step: Ask him what he likes in bed and talk about what you like.
- Listen, it’s important to remember that bedroom compatibility is a crucial aspect of any relationship, and if your partner’s preferences and desires don’t align with yours, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and doubt; however, it’s essential to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your concerns and explore potential compromises or solutions that can work for both of you, because communication is key in resolving these types of issues.
- You should talk to him again, tell about how you you feel, knowing that being compatible is really important in this regard for you, and if he doesn’t enjoy it really, you can start looking for ways to make it work, by looking for a therapist for example.