I have always dreamed of finding love with a white woman. Ever since I was a kid, I was fascinated by the beauty and charm of the ang mohs, as we call them in Singapore. I grew up watching Hollywood movies and TV shows, admiring the actresses and celebrities who seemed so perfect and glamorous. I wanted to be with someone like them, someone who would make me feel special and proud.
But living in Singapore, I didn’t have many opportunities to meet white women. Most of them were either tourists or expats who were only here for a short time. They didn’t seem interested in dating local guys like me, who were seen as inferior or exotic. They preferred to stick to their own kind, or to date other foreigners who were more wealthy or powerful. I felt rejected and frustrated by their attitude.
So I decided to travel the world and look for my ang moh girlfriend.
I saved up enough money to quit my job and buy a round-the-world ticket. I planned to visit as many countries as possible, hoping to find the one who would steal my heart. I was excited and optimistic about my adventure.
But what I found was not what I expected. Instead of love, I encountered racism from the West. Everywhere I went, I faced discrimination and prejudice because of my race and ethnicity. I was treated as a second-class citizen, a stereotype, or a joke. I was mocked, insulted, and harassed by the white people I met. I was denied service, entry, or respect by the authorities and institutions. I was made to feel unwelcome, unwanted, and unsafe.
Some of the incidents that I experienced were:
- In the US, I was stopped and searched by the police several times for no reason, except for being Asian. They asked me where I was from, what I was doing, and if I had any drugs or weapons. They treated me like a criminal, even though I had done nothing wrong. They also made fun of my accent and my name, calling me “Ching Chong” or “Bruce Lee”.
- In the UK, I was attacked by a group of skinheads who shouted racial slurs at me and beat me up. They said I was a “chink” who was stealing their jobs and women. They also said I should go back to China, even though I was not from there. They left me bleeding and bruised on the street, while no one helped me or called the police.
- In France, I was refused entry to a nightclub by the bouncer who said it was full, even though I could see many empty spaces inside. He also said they didn’t allow Asians in their club, because they were bad for their image. He said I should go to Chinatown, where I belonged. He also pushed me away when I tried to argue with him.
- In Germany, I was spat on by a woman who said I was a “corona virus”. She said I was the reason why the pandemic was spreading and killing people. She said I should wear a mask, or better yet, die. She also said I had no right to be in her country, because I was not a human being, but a disease.
- In Italy, I was cheated by a taxi driver who charged me twice the normal fare. He said it was because I was a tourist, and he had to make a living. He also said it was because I was an Asian, and he hated Asians. He said they were all liars, thieves, and scammers. He also said they had small “bananas”, and that no woman would ever want them.
These were just some of the examples of the racism I faced from the West. There were many more, too many to count or remember. I was shocked and hurt by the hatred and ignorance I encountered. I realized that the white people I had idolized and admired were not as perfect and glamorous as I had thought. They were not the ones who would make me feel special and proud. They were the ones who would make me feel inferior and ashamed.
I also realized that I had been wrong to chase after a white woman.
I had been blinded by the media and the stereotypes that portrayed them as the ideal of beauty and romance. I had ignored the diversity and richness of my own culture and people. I had rejected the women who shared my background and values, who understood and appreciated me. I had wasted my time and money on a futile and foolish quest.
I decided to end my trip and return to Singapore. I was disappointed and disillusioned by my experience. I was also angry and bitter about the racism I had faced. I wanted to forget about the West and everything that had happened there. I wanted to start over and find happiness in my own country.
But I also learned some valuable lessons from my journey. I learned to be more aware and critical of the media and the messages they send. I learned to be more proud and confident of my identity and heritage. I learned to be more open and respectful of other cultures and perspectives. I learned to be more realistic and mature about love and relationships.
I hope that one day, I will find the woman who will love me for who I am, not for what I look like or where I come from. I hope that she will be someone who will make me feel special and proud, not because of her race or ethnicity, but because of her personality and character. I hope that she will be someone who will travel the world with me, not to look for love, but to share it.