I lost my virginity tonight and I regret it a lot
I (20f) met this guy(21m) on my campus and we had been talking for a few days when he asked if I wanted to go to his place and watch a movie tonight.
I went to his place and we were sitting in the living room. He then asked if I thought his bed would be more comfortable because I was getting a little cold so we went to his bed and then we cuddled.
One thing led to another and we were making out and then he stuck his hand down my pants. I had a shocked face and I confirmed that I wanted it.
Then we ended up f-ing. It didn’t even feel that good. He couldn’t hardly find my cl it after I was trying to help him. He never got a solid rhythm and he kept changing it up.
We lasted about 4 rounds. The first two he had a condom and then he ran out and decided to go raw.
I asked him to be careful not to finish in me and I don’t think he did. Anyways, after I got back home I was suddenly hit with a wave of guilt and regret.
I didn’t really want to f and I felt like I was rushed into it, yet I could’ve stopped it at any time and I didn’t. I don’t know if this is related but as soon as I got to my door I got really dizzy and could hardly stand.
I also felt like throwing up because my stomach was in so much pain. I cried for about 30 minutes because I just felt so bad.
I always imagined my first time with someone special to me and instead I let my urges get the best of me and I f-ed some guy I barely knew.
I didn’t even get to finsih and don’t think that bothered him at all. To top it all off, after we f-ed he asked what I was looking for.
At this point I thought I had made it very clear that I wanted a relationship. I really liked him. He proceeded to tell me he just got out of a long term relationship and just wanted something casual, so basically to him I was just a random hookup.
That made me feel like crap. And for the cherry on top he stared at me the entire time I got redressed and left a hickey after I asked him not to.
I know this maybe normal but it’s not normal to feel this bad after. I feel very mad at myself for letting this happen. It completely ruined my day