My boyfriend is attending the funeral of the girl he cheated on me with..
I have been with my boyfriend for 2yrs. He is (M) 31y/o and I am (F) 30y/o. When we first got together, I had found out he was sneaking around with his ex.
It was new and I didn’t feel we were all that serious so I forgave him.. however as the relationship progressed, she would still pop up randomly, she would buy him random gifts to get his attention. Show up to his place at random. Would call him and try to “hang out”. . .
To my dismay I found out he saw her a couple months ago, went to her place, and of course “nothing happened”, but I’ll never know.. soon after he finally told her that it wasn’t appropriate she keep trying to speak to him.
About a month later… she died.
Initially I was very understanding and felt heart broken for him, idk why but I guess because it’s sad when anyone passes, no matter what harm they have done.
Then a week after receiving the news, I find a heart she wrote on the passenger side of his windshield. He said it was odd because even when he saw her last she wasn’t near his car.
Which tells me two things, he saw her even more recent than what I thought and two, she went out of her way to write that on the side that I sit on, knowing I’ll see it.. after that I lost a lot of empathy.
Yesterday he attended her funeral, I was a bit upset but didn’t say anything until later that night.
He then told me that if I feel any type of way that I should join him for her funeral. Given the circumstances, I clearly feel it is inappropriate and am not attending but I’m still upset.
I wouldn’t dare tell him to not attend, I actually think it would be good for him. However I am conflicted and am curious how I should handle this moving forward.