So, I (21f) have been dating a guy (21m) for about a month and a half now. We are not boyfriend and girlfriend yet. Last night, we got the farthest we’ve ever gone.
I’m a virgin and he knows this. We were doing a lot of kissing and grinding. It got to the point where I placed my hand on his instrument, but it was soft.
He said he didn’t know why it wasn’t harder that he was embarrassed. I told him not to be embarrassed, I know these things can be normal and it’s OK.
OK, moving forward, he actually pulls it out. I start touching it, but it instantly gets softer. Of course I don’t know what I’m doing but.
I’m not trying to think anything negatively, but I feel like maybe it’s me ? I don’t know if that’s selfish to say, but he was saying no it’s not me, and that he doesn’t understand why this is happening. And that he’s so attracted to me.
But, I feel a little weird? Like it knocked down my confidence? Is this selfish to think? Either way, he couldn’t get it up and he was very embarrassed. He said he’s going to change his diet and stop handling himself with x rated stuff.
I just don’t know what to think? Could it be that he’s not attracted to me physically but likes me? Or nervous? I know it can be a mental thing. Or maybe even lifestyle.
Netizens’ comments
- This is normal. These things can be like tinkerbell- sometimes they disappear if you stop believing in them. I bet he was just nervous and I doubt he needs to change any of his habits. I bet if you keep seeing this guy the problem will magically disappear before you know it. Being a good partner in your situation means being encouraging and not taking it personally.
- This is not uncommon for guys the first time you get intimate with them. He is probably just nervous, and nervosity can kill any hardness straight away.
- Guy was probably just nervous. Happens to the best of us.