Today will be my last day in Singapore for a long time.
This is my (33M) first time posting so do forgive me if my formatting looks weird ah. Growing up I always wanted the Singaporean Dream, to find a nice girl, get married, have kids, BTO in a decent neighborhood, etc. But life is unexpected and I found myself more and more detached as time went by – let me just share why.
One of the first wake-up calls was when I was discussing getting a BTO with my ex. When we actually looked at the figures, we realised that if we wanted to balance saving for old age and paying off loans, it would take a good couple decades to pay off everything. Renovations, furniture, etc… the figures added up and it looked really daunting. For us folks with a more humble background (3-4k take home), this was a subtle reality check- at one point we looked at our finances and decided with heavy hearts that we might not be able to fulfil our dream of having kids before 35. It was during COVID that our relationship was fraught with more financial difficulties, and we parted amicably.
The pandemic was a double-edged sword. I managed to keep my job, but the workload only got worse even though I was working from home. I was at home, there but not there. I believe I can speak for almost everyone in my age group when I say that we all became jaded and upset with our lives and our jobs during that period. The rat race only intensified for my colleagues and I, and I kept asking myself- is this the Singapore Dream?
During that time, I was dating actively on Tinder. I found that many Singaporean girls are just too similar to each other, and in a fashion that wasn’t to my taste. Yes, Singaporean guys only hike and gym. But Singaporean girls always have the same movie quotes or some random MBTI/Horoscope sign on their Tinder profile. They have the same interests and conversations. Political views were never diverse- in fact, many girls don’t think about politics, as it isn’t their interest. I don’t think we can blame anyone for that- Singapore is just too small, and lacks space for us to explore hobbies and interests. We all end up liking the same stuff, watching the same shows, and we all end up feeling that a trip to Don Don Donki is an adventure. But after breaking up with whom I thought I would spend my life with, I felt like I didn’t want to lower my bar anymore.
I had a friend who went overseas during his NOC days and stayed there afterwards for his work. I visited him there once the pandemic died down, and he introduced me to a friend of his whom we hit off right away. I have to say, when they talk about equality, they mean equality. She laughs at the Singaporean girls who say that females shouldn’t need to serve National Service. She refuses to be stuck in a rat race and chooses to spend her limited time in her 30s taking care of her ailing parents. She is refreshing, unlike any girl whom I’ve met before in Singapore. I was smitten. The months flew by, and before I knew it, I had already made plans to join her there. I have gotten a job offer and I will be flying overseas tonight.
I will be moving there to pursue a new way of life, a new job and hopefully a new place to stay until my old age. I will miss the small things in Singapore- the efficient MRT, my favourite Saizeriya (yes, maybe this is the reason I was dumped hahaha), the top quality Roti Coin at Kembangan MRT. But I think that this Chapter of my life in Singapore is at an end. I look forward to my new life in a new place!!