Few years back, I was jobless for a good 18months. Money was very tight and I was nearing broke!
However, I still managed to hit the gym as my health was a priority. My friend wanted to accompany me. I was more than glad to welcome her to my space! So we went to the gym on a Sunday and attended class.
After which, she asked to take a break and fill up water. So we were drinking and just resting out in between sessions. And she pulls out another of her stunt. Says she wants to talk to me about something important.
She starts preaching to me about the importance of self development bla bla. And shares about this course she’s doing and how it has helped her heal trauma as a kid from a kindergarten friend who didnt want to befriend her.
Long story short, she insisted that I attend this $5-$8k++ course. And make a downpayment of over $2k. Mind you, she jolly well knows that I was jobless and broke and trying to find a job. I flat out told her I cannot at this point as I dont have the money. And I was saving up to buy a laptop for job hunting.
Instead of sympathy, she scolded me for not wanting to invest in myself with the course. And saying why I cant even part with only $2k downpayment for it! I told her I’ll consider it down the line when I have more money, but at this point, I can’t as I dont have the money.
So, the gym session was just a pretext for her to sell me to buy into this program she was doing.
Fast forward 3-4 weeks later, she asks to meet up for dinner. We agreed on eating at the food court, cos I was down to my last hundred dollars or so. Ok. When we met at the meeting point at the mall, she was with a group of friends from this “program” she was enrolled into. I thought they were on their separate ways.. but alas! This entire group of strangers to me was there to accompany us on dinner! And she feigned igorance. One of the girl in the group started introducing herself to me and then asked where I wanted to have dinner!?
I was confused and look at my friend but she just acted dumb. But I was blowing up mentally, so I said huh!? I thought it’s just 2 of us having dinner!?? So I told my friend its okay you guys can go ahead, I will meet you another time then.
Then the group decided it’s ok I can have dinner solo with my friend, and then we can join them after. (No, thank you!).
Later on, I found out this group was from her “course program”. They needed to each recruit 5-7 people to sign up for the course. This friend of mine on the pretext of meeting me alone for dinner, actually thought I’d chin-chai and give in and join them for dinner to talk me into signing up for the course.
So, what do you think? How do I carry on with this friendship? I dont want to rock the boat cos I do value the 20yr friendship, but also, I feel I’ve been thrown under the bus twice now already.
Did I say? For her recent birthday, I spent $200+ on dinner with her.. wine and all.. but for mine, she gave me a bag of chips from the $1 store??
Mind you, she earns well $5-$6k and has little/ no financial obligations from what I know.