First of all, let me start by saying that I am a very trusting and loyal friend. I always try to see the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt.
That’s why it took me a while to realize that my friend, let’s call him “Jake”, was constantly taking advantage of me.
We have been friends since primary school and have shared many great memories together. We have been through thick and thin, and I always thought that I could count on him no matter what.
Always has no money to pay me, but got money to gamble and for other stuff
But as we grew older and our lives took different paths, I started to notice a pattern in our friendship that left me feeling used and taken advantage of.
It all started with small things, like “Jake” always forgetting his wallet whenever we went out for drinks or dinner. He would then tell me that he is broke and does not have enough money and ask me to cover his share first.
It could be up to 200 to 300 dollars or even as low as 50-60 dollars. At first, I didn’t think much of it and would happily cover his share, as he always pays me on time when his salary comes in.
But as time went on, it became a regular occurrence and I started to feel like I was being used as his personal ATM.
I started to notice that whenever we went out, “Jake” would conveniently forget his wallet or claim that he didn’t have any cash on him. But what really bothered me was that I would often hear of him gambling together with some other friends and even at times win quite a bit of money.
There were also times where we went to party and he as usual said that he did not have money to cover his share but when the hostess asked for a tip he would generously come out with $50 to $100 willingly to pay for their tips.
It didn’t make sense to me how he could always be broke when it came to paying his share, but still have money to gamble and indulged all these hostess.
I tried to bring it up to him once, but he brushed it off and said that he was just having some fun and had always been paying me back on time when he got his salary.
I wanted to believe him, but deep down, I knew that I was being taken advantage of. I couldn’t understand why he would do this to me, especially since we had been friends for so long.
But it wasn’t just about the money, it is about him conveniently always thinking that I could cover for him and only caring about his own financial needs and not bothering about mine.
It got to the point where I started to feel resentful towards “Jake”. I didn’t want to hang out with him anymore because I knew that I would end up being the one paying for everything.
However, we have been friends for so long and close to the extent where both of our families are friends as well and I would feel bad I exposed his ways to his family.
What should I do?